29

Nov

I get down with social media.

Oh hey there, blog. How have you been? Me? I’ve been good. Ate an entire Tofurkey on Thanksgiving. I’m not proud of that.

So, blog, I’ve come to a decision. I’ve decided to start sleeping around with Social Media. I really think it’s going to add value to my life. The Internet digs easy chicks.

I have a bright red Moleskin notebook. I carry it with me everywhere in my oddly oversized purse. Over the past few months, it has turned into my metaphorical little black note book of social programs I’d like to get into bed with. Like the plot of an awful rom-com, I’ve decided to tease up my hair, and start flirting with all of them.

First on the list, Google+. Let’s be real, this is like the cocky frat boy of social networking. He looks damn fine. His parents are loaded, and he has a great pedigree. Everyone keeps talking about how great he is, and I want to know what the fuss is all about. So I’m going for it.

Starting a Google+ account was easy, of course. Bat your eyelashes and you’re in. One of the first thing he’ll inform you of is that you’re going to need at least 10 friends to be awesome. Okay, well, I made it to 8 right off the bat, so I’m just slightly sub-awesome. I quickly upped my ranking by grabbing random publicity gurus and shoving them into my circles. I filled in a bit of my info (I can’t get too personal with you just yet, Google+) and was officially messing around.

First thought, where the hell is everyone? I expected a flood of my contacts to greet me, smiling as I entered this fabled house party. This looks a lot like another program. Can’t think of it’s name, something about a novel and a face? In a fit of laziness, I only uploaded one photo. The few contacts I do have in my “Friends” circle seemed to have suffered the same fate. In an effort to enhance this experience, I started digging around to find companies/music/random stuff I like. Does anyone else have a tough time finding brands on Google+? Generally, the ones I did find were pulled up from a post of someone else who tagged them. Are they just not at the party yet?

I’ve read in a few places that the big sellers of Google+ are the Circles and the Hangouts. Circles are nice. It’s easy to understand, and I like the theory that I could potential post drunken rants and only the people who love me on a personal level could access them. I hear Facebook has the ability to do that as well, but honestly, Facebook and I have been sleeping together for so long that we never vary it up. Okay, the Circles are nifty. I also feel confident circling up with more and more speakers and PR peeps, as I can label them as professionals, and avoid feeling like a stalker attempting to, “friend,” them. On the other hand, Hangouts freak me out.

Hangouts consist of turning on my webcam and setting up a chat with friends in my Circles. Yeah. No. I use Social Media in my house, alone, in sweatpants. Webcams are brutal. There is no gentle lighting. I’m not going to put my face on. I could see a professional use for it, but chances are if my friends and I don’t Skype chat already, we’re not going to start hanging out on Google+. Sorry. I’ll sleep with you, but I’m not getting on camera.

I’m left a little wanting after my first tryst with Google+. It feels like my friends on there all gave it a shot, and then wandered off. It’s not really a”social” experience for me at the moment. It does seem to have a vibe going with the professional community. Well, the ones I could find seem to love posting there. But I’m a champ. I can fall off a bike once, and I’ll climb right back on, so Google+ and I are not done yet.

If you’re curious about what Google+ is like in the sack, this handy guide comes in useful.

Also, I just saw this commercial today. Instead of getting all fuzzy inside, it made me laugh. First of all, no one makes it from, “Creeper,” to, “Keeper.” Once a creep, always a creep. It just seemed like a pitch for Google+ as fabulous tool for stalking. Which is something I’m already adept at.

Now, this isn’t the end of my Social Media loving this week. While I was busy putting on my best airs with Google+, another program snuck up and took my breath away. It’s like being at the party, and realizing that the cute drummer with tons of tattoos and smoldering eyes is staring at you from the corner. Ooooh, tingles. And that cute drummer’s name is Foodspotting.Com. 

Foodspotting takes a love of mine (eating) to a whole new level. Fed by the users, the program is a location based collection of the best food in your area. Snap a picture of a delicious nom-nom. Post it. Include the restaurant and what you’re eating. Now food porn addicts like me can drool over it, comment on it, “Want it,” or, “Nom it” (if you’ve had it before). I also fully endorse anything that uses the word nom. I can’t get off the site.  Anything that lets me track dark chocolate, sushi, and beer knows the way to my heart. I’ve been scoping out food in Montreal, and compiling a want list of dishes to try on my visit there later this month.

Foodspotting.Com is good. Please, everyone join so I can stare at your food.

Results of this week’s conquests? Sleeping with Google+ was like most first times. Things are awkward. You don’t know how much eye contact to make. You avoid them for a few days after.

Foodspotting.Com knew just what I wanted. That was the passionate coat room make out of social experiences, and I’m so going to call him like 8 times a day.

Potentially, this was all a lesson in the success of niche social programs, but I’m too relaxed to care.

12 years ago Short URL Comments

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02

Nov

Day Seventeen: I’m not drunk, I swear.

As freshmen in high school, we were all required to take a class taught by one of the physical education instructors. Here, we were taught the finer points of sexual interaction, such as how to place a condom on a banana. (No comment.) They’d covered the basics back in 6th grade, but this class seemed to say, “Okay, the jig is up. Let’s just try to keep you guys from being idiots, alright?”

When we weren’t gagging at a birth video, we were going over the evils of drugs and alcohol. I distinctly remember the instructor shuddering at the idea of being drunk. “Why would ANYONE want to do that to themselves?” She wailed. At the same time, she informed us that being drunk was no excuse for our actions. Alcohol can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. It only makes you more likely to do and say the things you already have on your mind.

At the time, I found that a rather confusing statement. Then…how was booze bad? I’m a decent child! I never think bad thoughts! Later, I learned the horrible truth of this. Just because you really do want to call and scream at your ex at 3 AM, it’s still an awful decision. We have verbal filters for a reason.

I’ve realized Internet and social media are a close relative to alcohol. It has the uncanny ability to make really STUPID things seem like a great idea. We become heightened, strung-out versions of ourselves. Sure, all of these attributes exist within us, but, dude, keep your pants on at the party.

Take, for example, the fine citizens that make up the law firm of Steven J. Baum. These are hard working folks who decided to cut loose with a little Halloween party. They had some pretty horrifying costumes.

Prepare to gasp in terror by clicking here.

 

I look at this, and want to go, “Really, guys? Really?” Seriously! These are LAWYERS. Smart people. They have degrees and stuff. Has anyone told them about the Internet? Were they so drunk on how much fun it is to share funny pictures that not a ONE of them said, “Hey guys? I have a bad feeling about this…”

The Internet is like 3 shots of Tequila. The girls get clingy and weepy, and the boys get weirdly brash and mean. Insults are hurled, stalking takes place. Clothing seems to mysteriously go missing. Feelings get hurt, and you’re left clinging to your throbbing skull in the morning moaning, “Why?!?”

I know I’m guilty of a little Social Media delinquency. I’ve looked back the next day and wondered if that post was REALLY needed. Did I truly need to pointlessly tweet at that celebrity? I swear that one day Facebook is going to rat me out as to whose photos I view the most. (Facebook, I will hunt you down if that day comes.) When I feel like I’m getting a little sloppy, I try to dry out a bit. One glass of water for every hour online. Maybe pace myself.

The Internet, much like a margarita, is a fickle mistress. When used properly, it can be a delightful way to pass an evening with friends. However, things can quickly get sloppy. Keep an eye on your companions. Take the laptop or handheld device from them if you see signs of abuse. And always heed the warnings of high school gym teachers.

13 years ago Short URL Comments

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31

Oct

Day Fifteen: Tweets falling on cedars

The other day I briefly touched on the idea that social media is no longer just the stuff of the idle-minded. It’s a increasingly important venue for huge aspects of our lives. Put aside the idea of staying in touch with long-lost friends, or viewing pictures of a wedding you were unable to attend. Social media is now an avenue for the BIG stuff.

This weekend, my lovely little state of Connecticut was struck with an unprecedented snow storm. Half the state slipped into darkness as heavy snow and wind ripped down trees and power lines. This is the outtage map from Connecticut Light and Power as of this morning.

CL-P Outtage Map

Festively colored for Halloween

I have friends up in that black hole of the north-western state. But I know they’re okay. I know they’ve cleared their roads, and plan on making it to the nearest shelter to warm up. I’ve offered them my house, but they can’t make it down here. I also have not picked up the phone.

As the storm raged that night, my feed on Facebook was flooding. Each person instantly grabbed their cell phones and started updating. I knew who lost power and when, where the trees went down, and where the power lines had been spotted. I was lucky enough to hold on to power, and was able to watch the local news. As more and more of the state went dark, the newscasters encouraged folks to get on Facebook and Twitter to follow updates from an official source.

The day after the storm the pictures started coming in. Lovely, glistening snow over cracked and shattered trees. CL-P is trending on Twitter in my area as natives, local news outlets, and businesses keep up a tight network of information on who has power, and when we might expect it back.

What would we do without social media in emergencies? As my home state of Vermont was devasted by Tropical Storm Irene’s flooding at the end of August, I immediately turned to Facebook to check on friends, and gain an understanding of the damage. News outlets can’t give me the level of understanding that comes from the post of someone who just fled their house.

That brings up an interesting thought. Why would someone who had just fled their house even think about updating their Facebook status? Why would you waste your precious cell phone battery accessing the Internet to tweet about a downed power line? Because that’s how we survive. We’ve shifted our communities and our networks online. We’re not always next to a television, or a radio, but more and more of us are constantly linked to wireless device.

Check out this really compelling graphic  that focuses on emergency communications in social media. I find it utterly fascinating. Nothing spreads information faster than the Internet. If you can get one tweet sent, someone else can re-tweet it to thousands, who re-tweet it again, and, who knows, maybe save a few lives. I remember when the 2008 Mumbai terrorist attacks took place. My college had a sister campus in the city. During the attacks, students warned each other where there was danger. Twitter was essential for determining the safety of students. Traditional news agencies just can’t always move fast enough. 

So we have the birth of citizen journalists. There is, of course, downsides to this. Individual users see very small portions of a crisis. That one cell phone picture might not be an accurate portrayal of the events at hand. Inaccurate information can be sent out. However, I can’t help but think that the pros are much greater than the cons. Think of Wikipedia. In school, we were warned to death about using the site, as it was created by, “normal,” people who can post false information. I never fully bought that idea. If you let everyone share their information, inaccurate facts are ripped down almost immediately. Corrections are made before the problem is even realized.

The same principle applies to emergency response through social media. With thousands of average-joes on the case, we’re able aid in mapping damage, updating news sources, and checking in on our loved ones. While I still don’t think we should be replacing a call to 911 with a tweet to the local news, I don’t think it’s a far stretch to say that every person with a cell phone has now become essential to crisis management.

And you thought the Facebook was just for Justin Bieber fans…

13 years ago Short URL Comments

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27

Oct

Day Eleven: So… you like me, right?

It’s a crappy day. It’s miserable out, and I’m just in one of those moods where everything is stupid. My car is stupid. The traffic near the high school is stupid. My dog is stupid. (Well, that one never changes. Love him like crazy. But he spends most of his time proving to me that I made the right choice by having him fixed.)

It’s the kind of day where the mirror isn’t always your best friend, and you feed all those nagging little irrational thoughts. Essentially, you end up questioning your worth. The projects you’re working on seem lame. You can’t remember why you thought that blog entry was any good. You wonder if anyone is just annoyed by your tweets and Facebook updates. There’s a term for this new cyber self-doubt.

Social Currency.

How much you’re worth online. Anyone who has a social media page any where wonders about this at one point. Does anyone give a crap? Did they take note that I re-tweeted that really awesome panda video, thus making me as adorable as a panda? I think of social currency as the modern day high school locker. You want to decorate your locker with really awesome pictures, intriguing band stickers, and photographic evidence of your communal activities. Why? So that when the jock walks by while you’re ever-so-casually fixing your hair, he becomes deeply enamored with your intellect. And awesome hair.

Companies suffer from high-school-locker syndrome as well. They, too, have crappy days staring at their Facebook page and wondering why no one talks to them. Now, most of us get over this quickly. We sigh wistfully, and five minutes later realize the “Jersey Shore,” is on, and suddenly life’s a blast again. Businesses evaluating their social currency can’t snap out of it quite so easily. They invent algorithms and formulas to expand and evaluate their cool factor. They hire companies to asses and create a plan.

There’s a fun little game they like to play called Klout. This service evaluates and ranks your reach and engagement within the online community. Wait a second. How does a computer judge the depth of engagement? How does it figure out when someone is feeling, “engaged”? Oh man, things are getting fuzzy! From my understanding, Klout even ranks your score based on the type of people and businesses you associate with online. Anyone else think that sounds like the fast-track to some really scary conversations?

I’m not the only one feeling this way. A Google search on Klout turned up this article as the third result this morning.

Nobody Gives a Damn About Your Klout Score.

I’m going to attempt to give those frowny-faced businesses a little bit of unsolicited, unqualified advice. My background is in Public Relations. Which means…relate to your public. Complicated, right? You can crack a code and increase your social media currency. But what the heck did that do for your audience? Thats’s cheating.

Sometimes I feel like the best social media plan is also the simplest. Not easy, just simple. Be human. Realize that you have an awesome venue for speaking directly to your customer, and don’t blow it. I’m sure if you throw enough money at the problem, any one can increase their social currency ranking. Realize that the ten fingers typing out that mass e-mail or Facebook blast are attached to a person, and chances are you’ll put a little more heart into it your communications.

Really, isn’t that just what we all want? To be loved? Come on.

PS- **My dog is currently trying to mate with the cat, and she’s beating him up. SO glad he’s been removed from the gene pool.**

13 years ago Short URL Comments

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