I get down with social media.

Oh hey there, blog. How have you been? Me? I’ve been good. Ate an entire Tofurkey on Thanksgiving. I’m not proud of that.

So, blog, I’ve come to a decision. I’ve decided to start sleeping around with Social Media. I really think it’s going to add value to my life. The Internet digs easy chicks.

I have a bright red Moleskin notebook. I carry it with me everywhere in my oddly oversized purse. Over the past few months, it has turned into my metaphorical little black note book of social programs I’d like to get into bed with. Like the plot of an awful rom-com, I’ve decided to tease up my hair, and start flirting with all of them.

First on the list, Google+. Let’s be real, this is like the cocky frat boy of social networking. He looks damn fine. His parents are loaded, and he has a great pedigree. Everyone keeps talking about how great he is, and I want to know what the fuss is all about. So I’m going for it.

Starting a Google+ account was easy, of course. Bat your eyelashes and you’re in. One of the first thing he’ll inform you of is that you’re going to need at least 10 friends to be awesome. Okay, well, I made it to 8 right off the bat, so I’m just slightly sub-awesome. I quickly upped my ranking by grabbing random publicity gurus and shoving them into my circles. I filled in a bit of my info (I can’t get too personal with you just yet, Google+) and was officially messing around.

First thought, where the hell is everyone? I expected a flood of my contacts to greet me, smiling as I entered this fabled house party. This looks a lot like another program. Can’t think of it’s name, something about a novel and a face? In a fit of laziness, I only uploaded one photo. The few contacts I do have in my “Friends” circle seemed to have suffered the same fate. In an effort to enhance this experience, I started digging around to find companies/music/random stuff I like. Does anyone else have a tough time finding brands on Google+? Generally, the ones I did find were pulled up from a post of someone else who tagged them. Are they just not at the party yet?

I’ve read in a few places that the big sellers of Google+ are the Circles and the Hangouts. Circles are nice. It’s easy to understand, and I like the theory that I could potential post drunken rants and only the people who love me on a personal level could access them. I hear Facebook has the ability to do that as well, but honestly, Facebook and I have been sleeping together for so long that we never vary it up. Okay, the Circles are nifty. I also feel confident circling up with more and more speakers and PR peeps, as I can label them as professionals, and avoid feeling like a stalker attempting to, “friend,” them. On the other hand, Hangouts freak me out.

Hangouts consist of turning on my webcam and setting up a chat with friends in my Circles. Yeah. No. I use Social Media in my house, alone, in sweatpants. Webcams are brutal. There is no gentle lighting. I’m not going to put my face on. I could see a professional use for it, but chances are if my friends and I don’t Skype chat already, we’re not going to start hanging out on Google+. Sorry. I’ll sleep with you, but I’m not getting on camera.

I’m left a little wanting after my first tryst with Google+. It feels like my friends on there all gave it a shot, and then wandered off. It’s not really a”social” experience for me at the moment. It does seem to have a vibe going with the professional community. Well, the ones I could find seem to love posting there. But I’m a champ. I can fall off a bike once, and I’ll climb right back on, so Google+ and I are not done yet.

If you’re curious about what Google+ is like in the sack, this handy guide comes in useful.

Also, I just saw this commercial today. Instead of getting all fuzzy inside, it made me laugh. First of all, no one makes it from, “Creeper,” to, “Keeper.” Once a creep, always a creep. It just seemed like a pitch for Google+ as fabulous tool for stalking. Which is something I’m already adept at.

Now, this isn’t the end of my Social Media loving this week. While I was busy putting on my best airs with Google+, another program snuck up and took my breath away. It’s like being at the party, and realizing that the cute drummer with tons of tattoos and smoldering eyes is staring at you from the corner. Ooooh, tingles. And that cute drummer’s name is Foodspotting.Com. 

Foodspotting takes a love of mine (eating) to a whole new level. Fed by the users, the program is a location based collection of the best food in your area. Snap a picture of a delicious nom-nom. Post it. Include the restaurant and what you’re eating. Now food porn addicts like me can drool over it, comment on it, “Want it,” or, “Nom it” (if you’ve had it before). I also fully endorse anything that uses the word nom. I can’t get off the site.  Anything that lets me track dark chocolate, sushi, and beer knows the way to my heart. I’ve been scoping out food in Montreal, and compiling a want list of dishes to try on my visit there later this month.

Foodspotting.Com is good. Please, everyone join so I can stare at your food.

Results of this week’s conquests? Sleeping with Google+ was like most first times. Things are awkward. You don’t know how much eye contact to make. You avoid them for a few days after.

Foodspotting.Com knew just what I wanted. That was the passionate coat room make out of social experiences, and I’m so going to call him like 8 times a day.

Potentially, this was all a lesson in the success of niche social programs, but I’m too relaxed to care.

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